Confession.

I have a confession to make.

 

A big one.

 

One that has me feeling like I haven’t been completely honest with you. I consider us sisters, a girl gang, a Spanx wearing, wine loving tribe – and I hate that I haven’t been transparent with you.

Over the last 6 months I’ve been in hiding – carb loading, emotional, and a little (read: A LOT) drained. BUT, I’ve been in this place for you. For us. For our sisterhood.

 

So, here’s to you:

 

“To the girl bosses and the CEOs of the household. To helicopter moms, cool moms, single moms and dog moms. To the women who feel like they are burning the candle at both ends working split-shift jobs and showing up late for T-ball games. To the women who intentionally chose not to have children, who live and breathe by grabbing a seat at the boardroom table or C-suite, and women who are gypsies and fully live a life of creativity and wonder. To the women who eat their feelings and refer to wine as just another one of their girlfriends (remind me to call Kim Crawford later). To the women who keep everything together even when it seems like it’s all falling apart. To the women who dream and the women who think they have forgotten how to dream.”

 

I wrote a book for YOU.

 

To remind you that…

 “You are brave, strong and resilient. You have the power to change the world and the lies it tells us. But to do that, you have to bend and flex, ebb and flow. You have to shatter the stiff, cold glass slipper. The slipper that doesn’t allow you to move with grace when life deals you a blow. The slipper that restricts your movement and squeezes you into someone else’s idea of perfection. The slipper that makes you feel fragile and easy to fracture.

 

Break the mold by taking back the truths about WHO you are and WHAT you can achieve. Push aside the myths, lies and bullshit that have you feeling “less than.” Once you do, the only thing you’ll fear at midnight is whether or not you have clean underwear for tomorrow. “

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THE BOOK IS TITLED BREAKING THE GLASS SLIPPER.

 Breaking the Glass Slipper has been a labor of love, and finally telling you about it feels like taking off your bra at the end of a long day. It’s freeing, and if I’m honest, almost euphoric – like angels orchestrating the biggest symphony above us. Cue the lights and set your calendar for August 23rd, 2018. On this day, I candidly share with you the mission my fashion business has set me on. A mission that debunks the myths that are holding women back.

 

I hope you will join me on this raw, hilarious, and painfully honest journey, or as we like to call it, movement. My goal with ALL of this is for us to share, connect and inspire one another. Every week until the release of the book on August 23rd, I will share a #BreaktheGlassSlipper story with you that reflects back to each chapter in the book. Next week we will start with our first chapter the Myth: Fashion is Frivolous and go from there. This should be fun! (and maybe a little cleansing)

 

Please join our email list (click here) to learn more about the book. We will keep you informed of the latest updates, happenings and all things worth sharing with regard to Breaking the Glass Slipper.

 

Cant wait to begin this incredible journey with you!

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XO, Elaine

 

 

 

The Shoulda, Coulda, Wouldas

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As human beings we are often programmed to live life in forward retrospect. While time is moving forward your mind keeps going back. I like to call this a case of the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Often times this is brought on by menial daily things like ‘I shoulda said something to that mom who looked at my daughter a little crooked- she knows nothing about our life.” Or, “I coulda managed that employee differently.” Or, “If I woulda known she was a raging lunatic, I wouldn’t have invited her into my home for girl’s night.” Most of these things can be handled with an extra glass of wine, a more developed managerial plan, or a pass on the girl’s night in favor of staying in and eating takeout in bed.

But, when tragedy strikes the shoulda, coulda wouldas aren’t as easily solved.

You find yourself at a loss for words or even the ability intellectualize what has happened. Your brain is foggy for days or even weeks as you process emotions you didn’t know you were capable of. The shoulda, coulda, wouldas aren’t as concrete now as they were when it came to the mean moms or problem employee. The tragic shoulda, coulda, wouldas can suffocate you. Leave you feeling helpless and sometimes hopeless.

The recent passing of an icon, Kate Spade, had me in shock for days. Though I never met her, our lives were very much paralleled. We both had fashion businesses we built with our husbands. She started her business a few years before I did and I always looked to her as a beacon of hope. If she could do it, maybe I could too? Even though the first handbag factory I met with in Brooklyn rejected me by saying “I only make Kate Spade handbags” I never felt at odds with her- no not even in the slightest. I had this feeling that we were both just two women who believed in ourselves and wanted to live our dreams everyday.

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When the alert came through on my phone about Kate’s suicide it brought me to my knees. I was truly sad, as though I had lost a friend. To be honest, wasn’t Kate everyone’s friend? Even if you didn’t carry her products, there is no doubt the corners of your mouth turn upward when you see her brand. I poured myself into reading all the articles I could about her in an effort to find answers. The shoulda, coulda, wouldas crept into my mind – the illusive questions that we will never know because we are thinking of them in retrospect.

As I read more and more about her, I started to understand our similarities and how creativity, art and design fuels us. But, I also got to thinking about how draining living a creative life can be. You pour your heart into creating something people may or may not like or even worse into things that never come to life. And, in Kate and I’s case we are both under the pressure of running businesses tied to our creativity. The pervasive feeling of having to move on to the next thing to create something bigger and better feels like a hamster wheel of never feeling ‘done’ or ‘brilliant’ enough. It can be lonely and intoxicating all at the same time.

Should we have seen this coming? Could someone have helped? Would the help have made a difference? We will never know.

But what I do know is this. The retrospective shoulda, coulda, wouldas are healthy for a little while, and then they are debilitating. We cannot trap ourselves in the past in hopes of changing it.

We can shoulda, coulda, woulda to learn but not to live.

As my business has changed over the years I have caught myself ‘reminiscing’ in the shoulda, coulda, wouldas more than I should. I have let myself get bogged down with answers I’ll never know about scenarios that will never replay themselves. I’ve learned through a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events that life will keep moving without you. If you allow yourself to stay back with the shoulda, coulda, wouldas the life you eventually go back to has moved on without you. You have to show up everyday. You have to fight the good fight. You have to live with purpose- even when the shoulda, coulda, wouldas invade your psyche.

You SHOULDN’T fall backwards while trying to move forward. Think of what you COULD miss, WOULD you really want that? Because, it’s right here, right now, where we find each other, and with each other we have all we need.

Rest in peace Kate. I hope heaven is as colorful as the legacy you left behind.

XO, Elaine

Get Real.

True friends know each other inside and out. Quirks, fast food preferences, bad haircuts and all. No truth is too ugly to uncover, no wound too deep to heal. So let’s get real- here are 25 things about me.

 

Question 1: Guilty Pleasure?

Answer: That’s easy. Wine, Cashmere, and Massages. Bonus points if all 3 happen at the same time.

 

Question 2: Clothing item you wouldn’t be caught dead in?

Answer: Overalls, crop top, harem pants, culottes. I paid my dues with those already in life.

 

Question 3: First thing you do in the morning?

Answer: Roll over. Moan. Stretch. Repeat.

 

Question 4: Most binge worthy Netflix show?

Answer: Stranger Things. I’m already (un)patiently waiting for season 3!

 

Question 5: Favorite place in the world?

Answer: The St Regis at Princeville Resort in Kauai, Hawaii. It truly is like God took all of the best things he created and put them here- lush greenery, waterfalls, mountains, crystal blue water. It is pure magic.

 

Question: 6: Team you root for even when it seems that every season is a “rebuilding season?”

Answer: TEXANS! Rebuild on, I can wait.

 

Question 7: Currently pinning?

Answer: Inspirational quotes, home decor, and anything Meghan Markle.blogpost_25-01

 

Question 8: Signature Scent?

Answer: Amber Lavender by Jo Malone

 

Question 9: Who makes you laugh the hardest?

Answer: Kat McKinnon, and I have to say, the Will and Grace revival is insanely satisfying.

 

Question 10: Last thing you do before falling asleep?

Answer: Read. I’m currently still on my New Year Resolution kick of health so I just started reading The Dr.’s Book of Natural Health Remedies. This might be a coaster by March when my health dedication fades…so I’ll keep you posted!

 

Question 11: One thing that is saving your life right now?

Answer: Long. Hot. Baths.

 

Question 12: What is your Whataburger order?

Answer: #1 meal with everything. Hold the pickles and mayo. I’m still desperately searching the index of The Dr.’s Book of Natural Health Remedies for Whataburger but I just can’t seem to find it…

 

Question 13: How do you unwind?

Answer: Aromatherapy is a must. My favorite scent right now is the Serenity Blend by Doterra.

 

Question 14: Worst haircut?

Answer: There have been many. My perm days in high school, though, cut the deepest.

 

Question 15: What do you whisper to yourself when you need motivation?

Answer: “I can handle this.” I have a lot coming at me between owning my own business, a special needs daughter, and a high school senior. It seems someone needs something from me all the time which can cause a lot of stress and anxiety, but I try to reset my frame of mind by reminding myself that I can handle every curveball thrown my way. And if I still feel overwhelmed, I (man)handle  Whataburger while I figure out the rest as I go.

 

Question 16: Do you have a spirit animal?

Answer: Butterflies. Every time I see one I feel something deeper. It is almost like they are little earth angels sent my way to guide me and connect me to something greater than myself.

 

Question 17: What is your greatest blessing?

Answer: My marriage, without a doubt.

 

Question 18: What is your ultimate healer?

Answer: Humor coupled with a heavy dose of vulgarity and few f’bombs usually takes the edge off.

 

Question 19: Creative outlet outside of Design?

Answer: Writing. I find so much peace in getting my thoughts out- it’s the world’s cheapest therapy, monetarily-speaking, but emotionally, it is the richest experience.

 

Question 20: Any OCD tendencies we should know about?

Answer: My home. It’s my sacred space and it has to be clean at all times. You can come over and touch things, but I might sweep behind you as you walk out.

 

Question 21: You love interior design, what is one movie home you wish you could move into?

Answer: The home in the movie It’s Complicated– it’s a gorgeous ranch/Spanish Hacienda style home and it is what dreams are made of! Meryl can stay too…as long as she picks up after herself.

 

Question 22: Who would you trade lives with?

Answer: India Hicks. Live in the Bahamas and be British Royalty…sign me up! I’m currently writing her an offer for trading lives, but I’m not sure it’s a fair trade!

 

Question 23: Favorite TV Show?

Answer: Madam Secretary. I bow down to Tea Leoni!

 

Question 24: What has surprised you most about Motherhood?

Answer: How much my kids have taught me about life and myself. You grow up thinking it is the other way around but it’s surprising how quickly that changes.

 

Question 25: Current soundtrack to your life?

Answer: The sound track to The Greatest Showman is on constant rotation at my house. My daughter loves the movie and I love the message. It’s almost as if I needed this movies message as I moved into the New Year- it’s all about celebrating differences as well as having a vision and realizing that vision even when the odds are stacked against you. Having the soundtrack playing all the damn time is a great reminder for me to remember my goals are not out of reach no matter how many obstacles stand in my way.

 

Bonus Question: What are your favorite things to purchase on Amazon?

Answer: (Scrolls through order history…) Ardell Demi Wispies, Compagnie de Provence Hand Soap in Lavender, books (LOTS of books), Essential Oils, and Vitamins.

 

 

I’d love to get to know you more! Leave a few facts about you in the comments and let’s take our friendship to the next level.

XO, Elaine